Bike Accident

So I am settling into my apartment and my city. One of my favorite parts of this new city was the Monon Trail - in theory it was perfect - it's 2 blocks from my apartment and it goes 18 miles and connects to other running/biking paths in the city. In reality, it goes over side streets where traffic doesn't have to stop for you and it is congested on weekends and holidays.
However, the downsides didn't keep Jake and I from going out on it yesterday. Jake is my fellow west coast intern, he's from Reno, NV and so we can commiserate on our hatred of humidity and our love of biking. I had never been to the end of the trail, so we road the whole trail to where it ends in Carmel. Carmel, IN by the way is super pretty and we even took a detour through a July 4th celebration thing on the square. It was perfect riding, we guzzled lots of water because it was hot, but it was otherwise a good ride.
We were going along smoothly and I was drafting off of Jake (because as Dave, Doug, or Charles can tell you, I love to draft) and we were coming upon some congested area of the trail, so I decided to pop off from drafting and come to Jake's right, but I didn't move over far enough or brake enough and so I ended up hitting Jake's back wheel. We were going about 20 mph according to Jake, and I flew over my handlebars, headfirst into the oncoming traffic. I don't remember much of the fall (although I had no loss of consciousness), but Jake looked back and saw this lady's tires going over my head. So I popped up (as I do when I get knocked down) and moved our bikes out of the way before rushing to the lady who I had caused to crash. She was really okay as she had fell in the grass - she didn't have a scratch which I was super thankful for. She was tired though and I think a little traumatized - we were checking her out and this guy came by and was like "I'm not a doctor, just a hockey coach" - I just looked at Jake until he admitted to being an intern doctor and checked the lady's back for deformity before we helped her up. Then we realized I was a bit scraped up and so Jake poured water on my cuts - I told him that I thought I needed a new helmet and he looked and it was cracked. So anyway, I got back on the bike after reassuring Jake that I was fine and we rode the 6 miles to home.
It really was my first real road bike accident. I think that I traumatized Jake a little bit - he texted me every 2 hours after that to check my status - I decided yesterday that I will refer patients to him since he is good with follow-up. Mom thinks I have a mild concussion so no contact sports for me for 6 weeks - my dad says that biking is a contact sport for me, but I'm going to disregard that and go riding as soon as I have a new bike helmet! Hehe.
Today I have a lot of soreness in my neck and also where the road rash is the worst, but nothing too bad.
So that was my adventure for July 4 weekend. I will try to post a little more frequently from now on!

driver's test

so i am now an indiana state resident and so i have to get an indiana state drivers license and change over my car registration and register to vote and all that jazz.
so on thursday, mom and i figured we would check one more thing off my to-do list and get that darn license out of the way. in indiana if you want to get a license, even if you are 75 and have been driving for 63 years, you have to take a written exam, so i had printed out the manual weeks ago with grand plans of reading it. however, life got busy and the manual had never gotten read and so i threw it into my purse as we headed out of the door to go to the BMV (bureau of motor vehicles) - as we drove, mom decided to skim the book and read some of the high points to me - our favorite was the following section (which has us in stitches):
Chapter 6: Accidents and Emergency Situations
Plunging Into Water
If a vehicle plunges ino the water, it will usually float several minutes before sinking, allowing a driver or occupants to escape through an open window while still on the surface.
If your vehicle plunges into water, do not attempt to open a door. The weight of the water will make it nearly impossible to open a door and water will flood the passenger compartment through the open door.

• Survive the crash. Use the passenger safety or restraint systems such as seat belts whenever you are driving.
• Remove your seatbelt.
• Open a window. Even automatic windows will open, unless the impact is so severe that it damages the electrical system. Note: They did not indicate what to do if you do indeed have an impact so severe as to damage the electrical system.
• Organize passengers in the front seat. Get children out of rear seatbelts and child restrains, asking older children to assist the younger ones. Move passengers to the front seat as calmly as possible. Note: I am glad they indicated to do so as calmly as possible because otherwise I would have been hysterically screaming, "Kids, get the bleepity bleep bleep up here and Johnny bring your sister"
  
• Exit the vehicle and move to the roof. This will keep you as dry as possible , and even in the moving water you can ride the vehicle like a boat for a short time. Once on the roof, call 911, and locate the nearest dry land, which is usually the path the vehicle took to the water. Note: I wonder if I should obtain a watercraft license for my car just in case it becomes a boat. Also, I feel like I should call 911 prior to climbing on the roof (I've always been a one marshmallow type of person) and lastly as dad pointed out, if you get enough air, the nearest land may not be where the car came from.
• Swim for shore only as a last resort. If emergency personnel or other assistance have not arrived b the time your vehicle sinks below the waterline, you may be forced to swim. Many times the water will be shallow enough to keep the roof above water, or just below the surface, allowing you to stand on it indefinitely. Note: I don't think that standing on top of my submerged car indefinitely would be much fun - the novelty would quickly wear off!
  
• Never re-enter the vehicle to gather your possessions. This will only put you back in harms way. Note: Dear Genius Mr. Indiana Driver's Manual Writer, what if my cell phone is still in the car, you didn't specify to take that with me in step 5!

Anyway, as we drove to the test, we giggled about this section, but as luck would have it out of the 50 questions on my test, there was one on this very topic. Also included on the test were hazardous road conditions, cell phone rules, and how far prior to a turn to put on your turn signal if driving over 50 mph - all things my mom taught me on the drive. You could miss 5 questions and pass - I missed 5 but as it turns out I missed only 2 and bubbled 3 wrong! Guess that fast test taking doesn't work too well when I don't have a standardized scantron with the letter in every bubble!!!
The two I missed are different from Pennsylvania and I still think I am right!
However, I passed and that's what matters - now unfortunately, they couldn't print out my card and so they have to mail it to me - so they seized my PA license and gave me a crappy piece of paper license that any idiot could forge (word on the street is that it won't be enough to prove I am over 21 but they assure me a police officer will accept it if he pulls me over).

on a happier note - quotes from this weekend

dad: "can i wear my brown carhart t-shirt on the plane?"
mom: "sure"
dad: "you don't think it will look too redneck?"

bern: " now is your water distilled or from the tap" (at EVERY single restaurant)

i forget the rest that killed me and that i wanted to share - in other entertainment, mom doesn't function well with little sleep - yesterday she walked into my neighbors apartment and later tried to get into someone's silver chevy malibu which was parked in handicap parking - needless to say, she was sent to bed early last night!

laurel lake camp - probably the first of many

the pennsylvania conference of sda are closing down laurel lake camp effective january 31, 2011. i don't know if it is public knowledge as i haven't spotted this notification on facebook or twitter which are the two media i consider to indicate what is public and what is not. since the readership of my blog is consituted of my mom and my gina and they both know then i feel that it is safe. i realize that this doctor name is connected to my blog and perhaps i should be careful of the words posted here and this blog is even public domain.
but i need a public domain to assure that i am heard, maybe only by myself or maybe to be sure that God knows in case he is a visual learner like me (i know my personification is inaccurate but it does make Him more real) - i feel like the closing of the youth camp is a statement, a statement that says the youth of pennsylvania conference are not valued by the church leaders. it's a statement that says until you turn 14 years old and hit the 9th grade and can head to BMA, you don't matter to our church leaders-and really until that point is your salvation a factor?? and if you don't go to BMA due to either distance or financial hardship, then you probably don't need evangelized to. because BMA is cost effective and laurel lake is not. nothing against Blue Mountain Academy, the institution that educated and won the souls of many of my dear friends - i would likely be very upset if that were closing as well, but laurel lake is tied to my salvation and for that i am livid - i am intolerant of the idea that the place that formed who i am is no longer deemed cost effective.
two days ago i became a doctor, a seventh-day adventist doctor who graduated from loma linda university and recited a physician's oath that went like this:
"Before God, these things I do promis.
In acceptance of my sacred calling --
I will dedicate myself to the furtherance of Jesus Christ's healing and teaching ministry.
I will give my teachers the respect and gratitude which is their due. I will impart to those
who follow me the knowledge and experience that I have gained.
The wholeness of my patient will be my first consideration.
Acting as a good steward of the resources of society and of the talents granted me, I will
endeavor to reflect God's mercy and compassion by caring for the lonely, the poor, the
suffering, and those who are dying.
I will maintain the utmost respect for human life. I will not use my medical knowledge
contrary to the laws of humanity. I will respect the rights and decisions of my patients.
I will hold in confidence all secrets committed to my keeping in practice with my calling.
I will lead my life and practice my art with purity and honor; abstaining from immorality
myself, I will not lead others into moral wrongdoing.
May God's kingdom, His healing power, and His glory be experience by those whom I serve; any may they be made known in my life, in proportion as I am faithful to the truth.

these words were not recited at any other medical school in the country -so why was i at loma linda reciting those words? part of the reason was that my mom went to loma linda and i admired her intelligence and her compassion - i wanted to be like her, part of the reason was God's leading me to that school, but how had i gotten to medical school? how did i find my calling in pediatrics? i am not being overdramatic when i say it was at laurel lake camp.
because of laurel lake camp, i spent every free weekend of the school year working side by side with my parents from 8th grade to graduation day - in these weekends i not only had lessons on serving others, but more importantly on hard work and responsibility. these weekends also afforded me something precious, concentrated time with both of my parents who worked hard during the week (although they were always available to me) - the third thing is that it offered me something besides the streets of a small town on the weekend nights. it is huge to spend that much time with your family these days and it wasn't ever forced, allison and i never begrudged the camp for the hours of our youth we gave. we worked there in the summers and learned even more responsibility. i learned my strengths and weaknesses as a leader during my years as counselor and assistant pool director - these lessons led me to succeed as a leader in medical school.
it was at laurel lake where i first had the strength to tell my parents that i was being sexually abused when i was eight. it was at laurel lake that i was put in a cabin with ginny kafferlin who is still one of my dearest friends. it was at laurel lake that i won my first pie eating contest and fell off my first horse. it was at laurel lake where i met the corbin sisters, two of the most amazing counselors to effect my life. it was at laurel lake that i fell in love with Jesus as a staff member. it was at laurel lake that i met gina who inspired me to run a marathon and then another, followed by another and then probably another. it was at laurel lake that i always planned to get married, in the grove past the pool.
without my parents, i wouldn't be where i am today, but they can't take all the credit because without laurel lake, i wouldn't be who i am today. more specifically, without laurel lake and ed, wendy & john eberhardt, i wouldn't be where i am today. my parents gave me the tools to succeed, ed & wendy saw my potential and made it possible for me to work there (as did john who needed a babysitter). it was during my summers working there that i first heard "love song for a savior" by jars of clay and i realized that i really did want to fall in love with Jesus - and so i did.
so really laurel lake is why i am a christian physician - if not for that place and the influences there, i probably would have never seen the opportunities in the community of adventists and adventist education and so i would have gone to a state university (even though my parents would be disappointed) - from there, i am sure an east coast medical school would have seemed the wisest choice and although it is possible to be a phenomenal christian physician without going to loma linda (i know several of them) - it's not as easy and i'll be the first to admit it may not have happened for me.
so for all these reasons and more, i will cry the day that laurel lake closes, and until that day i will continue to tell people what that little place means to me - and probably long after.

home sweet Indy

it is 7:30 am as i sit in my apartment, the first home i have had all to my own. mom and i arrived here at 3:30 this morning and the plan was to sleep in, but i was woken by the banging of my blinds fortelling the storm. and now the storm has come - i had to close the windows in the living room to prevent the carpet from getting soaked with rain - it's a little bit beautiful, the downpour that is, with the trees across the street swaying, but i pray that i will let up soon so that i can unburden my little silver taurus sitting in my new garage with two bikes jutting off the back. we left california at 6:30 on memorial day and in two days drove just over 2000 miles to arrive at my new home - we drove through 8 states in total - my car was heavily weighed down forcing the speedometer to dip down below 60 mph more often than i like which resulted in multiple semis and coach buses passing us. in the end i accepted the slowed speed when my wonderful car survived the entire journey uneventfully.
so now i prepare to build my life in what i would say is in a tiny one bedroom but turns out to be 1000 sq. ft. with a kitchen that makes me want to cry with joy. it seems too perfect to truly be mine - but it is. the only downfall is that i am not sure where my router is that will provide the internet that at&t asssures me that's hooked up, that will allow me to post this blog - and while i am hoping i have friendly neighbors, they all have their wireless password protected. there may be one other tiny flaw - there is a peculiar smell to the carpet, as if the previous owner was a pet lover - the smell encourages me to add carpet deodorizer to my "need to buy today" shopping list that seems to be ever growing.
i really should sleep and i would - i don't know when the last time i slept more than 7 hours was - lately the nightly total has been 4-5 hours with me going to bed late out of business and waking up early with a busy mind - i am hoping that my mind will rest soon and let me rest - maybe when it doesn't feel that there is so much to do. right now my mind is begging the storm to slow down so that i can sneak out to my mailbox on a little treasure hunt.
it's strange to me that my greatest feeling of being a grownup occurred when i pulled into my own garage last night - it's the first time i have had my own garage and despite the fact that it comes with a price tag of responsibility, it may be worth it.
i graduated on sunday - i am now a doctor and people will be calling me that, but it concerns me that i don't know when i became a doctor. in all honesty, despite the pomp and circumstance of the past weekend, i don't feel like that's when it happened - just because you have a few ceremonies and march around and get a diploma, that doesn't make one a doctor. and since i have been on vacation for the past 5 weeks of medical school, i highly doubt that i became a doctor in those days. perhaps it occurred during my 5 weeks in Peru, but even that possibility seems unlikely. i'm not unhappy or complaining, just unsure - and i don't like being unsure.
so right now i will cling to the things that are sure: i love my apartment which is perfect for me, i love this city that i am still in the process of learning, i love the leaders of the program i will be working for, and i love being close to my family again - and for now i will try to focus on all the things i know i love and ignore those that are uncertain - for now.

On Friends, Vacation, and Apartments

So I am technically on vacation right now. However, as it turns out, the last few weeks of May are not ammenable to vacation because there are about a million anxiety producing graduation things to go through. So I spend my days packing, doing online residency orientation, running around school trying to get graduation things signed off, and just tying up loose ends in general. Added to all this is that I need to find a place to live next year. I got so overwhelmed, that we decided it makes the most sense for me to make a quick trip to Indy to find an apartment, so amidst all the craziness of graduation, I am making a little jaunt to the midwest - hopefully by this time next week I will have a future address or at least a good idea of one.
In spite of the craziness, Ginny was brave enough to come visit me and we explored California together. I introduced her to pretty much everything I know about LA, which shockingly took less than 2 whole days! For the most part we bummed around and soaked up the sun (okay so maybe I avoided the sun after my day 1 burn and then the sun hid from Ginny for a few days). Nevertheless, it was nice for Gin to see my life and meet some of the people who have become very important to me over the past four years.
I realize now that there's not all that much to tell, but I feel delinquent with my lack of blogging. I promise that if anything exciting happens y'all will be the first to know!

a tribute to this blog's title and my thoughts

i have this nagging feeling that time is going to go by way to fast!!! i am fearful of the future, really scared - everything is going to change in 4 weeks. life as i know it will be different.

in the past 4 years i have been through a lot of changes, a lot of tough situations, just a lot of stuff. i can't even recall a lot of it, but i know that the past 4 years of my life have been HUGE!!

i remember driving into loma linda for the first time with mom (i often have deja vu when i drive over the bridge on anderson on a sunny day), i remember being a 'one night stand' like it was yesterday, going to Nepal was days ago, i remember fro yo with kristyn, daniel, chad, and ashlee after step 1, tea with the girls at Martha Greens, Valentines day with Gina and Greg at Kettering, Chicago with friends, and the day i got my first job interview during 4th yr...all these things are so vivid in my memory, the good and the bad. photos have been captured to memorialize these things, but they are partially unnecessary.

with all the stress and craziness of the past 4 years, my life has been at least somewhat tame and predictable. it's been 4 years since i moved across the country. when i think back to those days i remember the ticks - seriously, i had these involuntary twitches in major muscle groups that were conjured up by high stress. i moved 36 hours from my family and friends and from what i knew to this hot dry place. i lived on my own for the first time ever, i survived a prowler in the night, i learned to fix appliances and my car (with dad's help on the phone), i learned to budget my money, i learned a lot of things that weren't at all medical. most importantly, i made amazing friends that i will never forget. now i look back on my move as one of the greatest blessings of my life. but now it is time to go back, back to being closer to my family and friends (but still not super close), and i am once again scared. i am once again packing up to move to a strange place (at least i have been through this city once or twice) where i really have no close friends or relations. i will be living all alone for the first time in my life - i will be making enough money to financially support myself for the first time in my life (at the age of 25) - i will have a real job with real responsibilities and real lives in my hands. once again i am terrified.

BUT when things terrify me the most, those are the times where God can really work and where i can find the biggest and best adventures.

24 is my favorite number, but i also have a particular fondness for 25, i always said that my 25th year would be my best one yet, it hasn't let me know and i don't think it will!